What do you do when someone treats you unfairly?
My dad always told me, “Kendra, life is NOT fair, ” and “the world doesn’t owe you ANYTHING!”
I hated it when he said that, and he said it a lot, because, I was always wanting “more, more, more” even though I had far more than I ever needed. I just didn’t see it that way at the time.
I might have been completely annoyed when I heard those two phrases, but the fact of the matter is that the truth hurts, and my dad was speaking the truth! Boy was he ever speaking the truth.
Life is NOT fair, and people treat us unfairly sometimes. On the flip side, we also treat others unfairly sometimes, which is hard to admit.
Nonetheless, sometimes we get the short end of the stick, even though we’ve tried to do the right thing. We might search our souls and try to figure out what we did that led to this unfair treatment.
Sometimes it seems so random.
Sometimes, there simply aren’t any obvious answers.
Sometimes we’re served with heaping helpings of unfairness, and it STINKS!
My dad had another favorite saying: “tough nuggets!”
I said that to my brother recently, and we burst out laughing, because we finally realized what our dad meant when he said that!
When I was a kid, whenever my dad said “tough nuggets” all I could think of was gold nuggets, which led me to think about a bag of gold nugget bubble gum that we got one summer when we were in Colorado and visited a tourist site in an old mining town.
So, my dad’s tough nugget comment led me to think happy thoughts of gold nuggets, bubble gum, and summer vacations in the Colorado Rockies, and it still does to this day!
I seriously doubt my dad had any idea that my mind was wandering off in this direction when he said “tough nuggets” but it actually did the trick.
It got my mind off my problems, my complaining, my griping, and the seeming unfairness of it all, and it re-focused my thoughts on pleasant things and brought a smile to my face.
There’s a serious lesson to be learned here—who would’ve thought?!
So, here’s my simple formula when the nuggets hit the fan (sorry about that):
- What did I do that landed me in this particular situation?
Do I owe anyone else an apology?
What can I do to fix the situation?
Once I’ve done all that I can do, including admitting when I was wrong and forgiving whoever hurt me, what else can I do?
The way I see it, I’ve got two choices:
1. I can complain, whine, worry, gossip about whoever hurt me, try to exact revenge, have obsessive thoughts about what’s going to happen in the future because “so and so did this, that, and the other, and it’s just not right!”, and I can be depressed, miserable, and feel sorry for myself.
2. I can let go and let God figure it out, because only He has all the answers.
I can say “tough nuggets” and then think about gold nuggets (which makes me think of wealth, prosperity, gold jewelry, gold coins, the list goes on and on), bubble gum, and summer vacations in the Colorado Rockies.
What will choosing Option One do for me?
I will feel awful, I won’t be productive, I will waste time, I will say unkind and hurtful things to others, I will probably overeat, I’ll be depressed, I’ll actually repel others and make them not want to be around me because I’m so unpleasant to be around and to talk to. I will likely alienate my family and friends and stir up dissension, which I will later regret.
It sounds like Option One is a loser any way I look at it. I see no benefit whatsoever in Option One.
To the contrary, choosing Option One leads to far more pain, anger, hopelessness, low self-esteem, and discontent than I had to begin with.
Not to mention the fact that I’m missing out on all of the good things I’ve got to be thankful for RIGHT NOW.
I also have to remember that I reap what I sow.
Ouch! If I sow anger, bitterness, resentment, negativity, and revenge, it’s going to come back to me tenfold.
Option One is DEFINITELY NOT the Option I want to choose. It leads to disaster and doesn’t solve my problem. Instead, it INCREASES my problems.
Option Two is the winner.
I choose to turn my tough nuggets until GOLD nuggets!
Thanks, Dad!!! 🙂
Which option do you choose?